Name Trouble

So at yesterday's Fresh Meat gathering, Pigeon had a list of our chosen names and Jackie O-Smashes was on the reject pile!  Why? Apparently, when Pigeon searches for it, the name gets a high similarity rating because of this result:  Jaque O'Smashus.  When I search for it, Jackie comes back with a medium similarity result to other names.  So confusing!

I referenced Brian's master punning list and selected another name:

Pigeon said it was okay when she searched the Registry for other names that are similar to it.  I searched for it too and came up with these results.  Scarlett O'Scara gets a high similarity rating, so does this mean that my name choice is actually no good?  I really am confused by this naming process and I think my brain is about to explode!

Tryouts Comin' Right Up!

If you're thinking about trying out, read this:
Roller Derby: How to Get Started by SVRG's Retox Fox

It's Hittin' Time

I think that last night was the first time we worked on really hitting people at Fresh Meat practice.

Due to the inclement weather (remnants of Typhoon Melor), only eight or nine of us showed up for our hour-long practice.  We started with some pace line and pack drills and then we moved on to some mini-scrimmaging.  Each team was down a pivot, so we each only had three blockers and one jammer. We worked on opening holes for our jammer by hitting fellow blockers and we were also allowed to hit the jammer.

For some reason, I always seemed to be on the ground or stuck at the back of the pack.  I had one moment of glory, however, when on our second or third jam, FM Kat was jamming and I was still stuck in the back of the pack.  I wanted to help out Kat, but the blocker in front of me was FM Kellie.  Kellie is a force to be reckoned with out there -- she played hockey for years and is just a super solid skater.  So for me, a not-so-confident skater, I had a moment of hesitation before taking her on.  I had no choice, however, but to engage.

I made contact with FM Kellie and down I went!  I heard a body or two (or three) hit the ground after me.  I don't really know who all went down, because I had, well, um, closed my eyes when I went in for the hit.   Hating the idea of causing skater pile-ups, I just started to automatically apologize as I scrambled to my feet.  Coach Charlie was skating toward me with this giant smile, telling me to stop apologizing.  She shook my hand and congratulated me for doing what I was supposed to do!  Kellie and Kat also gave me congratulatory taps and words.  Yay!  I still don't know what I did or if I could do it again...

We finished the night by breaking into groups of three.  The skaters on the outside took turns hitting the person in the middle into the next person.  For example, I would hit FM Evelyn into FM Alayna and then Alayna would hit Evelyn into me.  I threw multiple elbows (sorry ladies...still new at hitting!), but overall I think I had some decent hits.  Coach Crushed N. Slayedher complimented me when I hit without a tell, because there was no change in my body language prior to going in for a hit.

I spent an inordinate amount of time on the ground yesterday and my bottom is really sore this morning.  My left shoulder muscles are also pretty tender.  I think I had a pretty good practice, but I really need to work on remaining upright after collisions.

Red Alert: Must Submit Name!

Okay, so apparently they want us to hand in our names as soon as possible -- even if we have not passed our assessments!  Due to the lag time associated with name submissions, it looks like they are trying to streamline the process so as to avoid future delays.

That being said, I guess it is time for the unveiling of the name I will be submitting.  All the credit for this one goes to Brian, my fiance, who came up with this back in July or August.  We had a few other contenders:  Annie Chokely was my favorite for a while, but we already have an Anny [UpYours] on the team; Luna Shovegood was something I came up with while watching the latest HP movie, but Luna Skategood already exists on the Registry, Luna is kind of close to Lulu, and when you google the name some girl with the Cajun Rollergirls comes up; and I really wanted to do something using Clarice Starling, but just could not come up with anything.

So here goes...what do you think???

The only thing I haven't chosen is a number.   Any suggestions?

The Name Game

There are scrimmage assessments tonight.

[crickets chirping]

Don't worry...not for me!!  Silly people!  I may be crazy, but I'm not that crazy!  There are about six Fresh Meaties who will be going through the scrimmage assessment tonight and they'll do great.  They've proven that they are strong skaters and they always seem to work really well together when they are in a pack. As for me, well, I think I'll need three or four more weeks...er, I mean, months before I am ready to go through that scrimmage assessment.  I'd like to imagine that I could take a beating or two in the assessment, but I have no idea what I'm doing out on the track.  I don't know anything about the roles of blockers B1, B2, or B3.  I try to listen to the Pivot, but eventually I just do something wrong or fall or lose my place and feel like a grand disappointment.  So until I have a better grasp of general pack strategy, I'm just going to sit these scrimmages out.

In other news, once these ladies pass their scrimmage assessments, they'll be able to put in for their derby names (I think).  Yay!!  That's so exciting.  I can't wait to hear the names that they've chosen for themselves.  Will we have a Rotten Rita or a Smashing Sally?

[do I hear crickets again?]

Okay, so I know I'm not really all that great at this name picking thing.  And that is why, back around the time of tryouts, I tasked my mom, friends, and boyfriend with coming up with a variety of names.  They did not disappoint.  I probably had about over 100 names to work with.  Some were taken, of course, as we discovered when checking the Roller Girl Name Registry, but others were not.  The excitement for choosing a name, however, has sort of died down for me.  Once I started practicing and realized that this Fresh Meat process was going to take me quite a while, I thought I would let the dust settle a bit and when it came time to pick a name, then I would allow myself to get all excited again.

Don't get me wrong, out of those 100 names, I did cling to about three or four that I thought would be good, but there's always a chance that those names will get chosen by someone else while I'm waiting to pass the scrimmage assessment.  Oh well!  It will just be back to the drawing board at that point.  And if all else fails, I also discovered that when having trouble coming up with names, a great little source for inspiration can be found by perusing lists of old Garbage Pail Kids.  See what I mean:

We Review Whip It

On Friday night we went out to the Whip It premiere in Santa Cruz...here's what we thought:

FM Rachel: I went into Whip It expecting to totally identify with Ellen Page's character, Bliss, a bit of Fresh Meat with TXRD's Hurl Scouts. I wanted her to struggle more and to be really bad at skating (like me) and then to triumph, but after a three minute training montage she just seemed to start flying around the track. How is that possible??? There were some other things that bothered me, namely: the food fight (who is going to clean that up?), the underwater sexy scene (why aren't they drowning?), people not wearing seatbelts (what kind of message does that send our youth?), love-interest Oliver (take a bath and do your laundry!), and on-track fighting (we don't do that!).

For all the things that I didn't like, here's what I did like:

• Kristin Wiig (Maggie Mayhem): I have a big fat crush on Kristin Wiig. She makes me laugh every time I watch her in something. Plus, in Whip It, a film with a lot of characters and very little character development, we actually got to know a little bit more about Maggie Mayhem and I liked that.
• Andrew Wilson (Razor): Another Wilson brother? Who knew? But this guy may now be my favorite one!
• The dad: Daniel Stern (think tall villain from Home Alone) was great as Bliss' father. He was sweet, funny, and tender. I absolutely loved the scene at the end with the lawn post. So touching.
• Alia Shawkat (Pash/bff): It's Maeby Funke from Arrested Development!! I thought she was just slightly underutilized in Whip It, but she was still adorable and funny.

So that's pretty much it.  My recommendation: See it if you love all things derby and are willing to overlook the movie's overall cutesiness.

FM Daisy:  I went to Whip It hoping to see something I wished I could have seen as a 12 year old. I was not disappointed. The tag line "Be Your Own Hero" is something every girl (perhaps of any age!) needs to hear. It's a great antidote to the message girls get about staying in the background. Don't limit your dreams! Be Your Own Hero! Kick ass for yourself! (And kick your own ass!) Push yourself and fight for what you want to do in this life... not your mom's antiquated picture of what femininity is!  Seeing it with skaters and other fresh meat was great, but hearing the Junior Derby girls cheer at their favorite parts was what really made my night. Those girls are being their own heroes!

• I agree with FM Rachel. The quick-training sequence did not show an accurate picture of the trials and tribulations of fresh-meatdom. I felt a little redeemed when Iron Maven said she's 36 and has had to work her ass off. I could definitely relate--It's hard to be in your late 30s and see some young whippersnapper have it come easy!
• I liked that Bliss was afraid of hitting... (not that I can relate with that At All...*whistling*)
  
• I thought the different derby personality types were pretty accurate renditions of real phenomena: Maggie Mayhem was wonderful-- tough, encouraging and hilarious! (My friend Vin says she reminds him of FM Alayna.) Smashlee Simpson didn't give a s*&$t about much... and I've seen girls like that--acting crazy and having fun and not worrying about rules or even knowing that tryouts are coming up. It was fun to see Drew Barrymore having a good time--especially beating up her 'fiance' and him loving it! Iron Maven (the divine Juliette Lewis!) was a great nemesis. She was the scary, scrappy girl--the loose cannon aimed right at you! Yikes!
  
• I loved the parents. The mom really was trying (willing to buy combat boots "At least they don't have duct tape on them") and good movie dads almost always make me cry. I loved how he looked up derby on Google. Awww!
• The Love interest: *slight spoiler alert* I really liked how the romance part of the story turned out. Was relieved that Bliss followed her bliss--put herself first ahead of some stupid guy who didn't respect her. Are there any movies besides this and White Men Can't Jump where a girl doesn't settle for a loser guy? Let me know!!
• I liked that people looked real. Dude (Oliver) had a big nose and bad teeth, Maggie had wrinkles, Bliss was super pale and Pash was super freckled. Movies are more realistic to me when people look like people I might know rather than supermodels.

All in all, I say see it! To make it even better, when you sit down in that theater seat, tune in with your inner 12-year-old girl and soak in the reminder to Be Your Own Hero!

Zombies Unite

Backward Blues

Do you suppose I could get that Aussie mom to serve me up some Ovaltine to help me with skating backwards?  I sincerely believe that the harder I try to go in reverse, the tougher it gets -- just like the ad says.

Going forward on skates has been tough enough.  Had I not been getting my skates tweaked at Monday's practice when Raven made us show off a skating talent, I would have just skated in the forward motion without falling -- that is about as talented as I get these days!  I'm even making (very slight) progress going forward in the clockwise direction, but this whole backwards thing is just gibberish to my feet and hips.

I don't remember if we did any backwards skating at tryouts, but at our very first practice we did a little bit of it and I remember just being immobilized, stuck at the far end of the Palladium, while everyone else had made it back to the line.  Liv N. LetDie took pity on my cement-footed self and basically pushed me all the way back to the line.  Since then we have done some backwards skating at practices.  I usually can only go about two feet, while everyone else does about ten laps.

A lot of people have tried to help me with this skating hurdle.  FM Kellie gave me some personal instruction at one of those Friday night Open Skates back in early August.  She told me to focus on how I was using my toes in the propulsion motion.  That seemed like a good plan back then, when I did not have chronic foot pain on the top of my right foot.  Cinzilla and Mildred Fierce tried to help at a Saturday Open Skate and instructed me to do some sort of back wheel foot lift, but I can never seem to remember the exact mechanics of that motion during practices.

So tonight Charlie made us do a lot of backwards skating.  Maybe I made it more than two feet tonight, but not by much.  Charlie showed me how to use my hips and how to carve my foot and it made perfect sense when watching her fluid movements, but when trying to apply these to my FrankenSkate body, I just floundered.

But at least now I have a bunch of things to work with at the next Open Skate.  Maybe I'll just try and skate backwards the entire time.   That will be super boring and very frustrating, but I need to just focus and figure this thing out.  There has to come a time when the harder I try, the easier it will be, right?

Now where's that Ovaltine?

Roller Derby on Film!

Drew Barrymore directs "Whip It."

For a survey of derby on film over the decades see

Mildred Fierce's latest "Skate Like a Girl"

Whoopsy Daisy!

It happened. My ass smack down on the ground.

Last night's practice, led expertly by Raven Von Kaos, was everything a good practice should be. It challenged our endurance with a pyramid sprint drill and suicide drills. It built our skills with 20 laps (in each direction) skating as a pack. It bolstered our confidence--Raven had us one by one, take the track and show the group something we're good at while the rest of the group cheered. Foxee Firestorm busted out the sweet dance moves. Pixie Painful did that trick where you balance on the front wheels on one skate, and the back wheels on another. Mildred Fierce displayed mad storytelling skills with a lovely knee-slide finale. Others did impressive Figure 4 Falls, Knee Dips, and some very cool Rexing!

And we had time for fun at the end of practice. Ever play "Freeze Tag" on skates? You should!! Raven had us divide into 4 groups (wearing colored pinnies) each with one jammer. As we all skated around the track, our jammer tagged other team members (minus jammers) while other team's jammers tagged us. Once tagged, we had to stop until another of our team members could come by to tag and 'unfreeze' us. So Fun!! During my turn as jammer I must have had the craziest look on my face as I tried (many times unsuccessfully) to tag Heather Headlocklear as she flew around. It really pushed me to skate my fastest like nothing else has.

Great practice right? Well, perhaps the cherry on top of that great practice sundae was breaking the sudden vertical drop barrier. We were scrimmaging, I was blocking in the back of the pack and suddenly, completely out of nowhere, I was DOWN! Right on my ass! I fell so hard I felt like I might find that there was a hole in the floor and my butt was sitting on the concrete foundation of the palladium! It was such an absolute surprise. I felt this fall throughout my entire body--it completely shook my entire world. My mind was working overtime. Thoughts flying through included "Did I hurt my coccyx like FM Jenipher? Did I get a concussion? Am I gonna get a super hemotoma like Roxy?" The wind was knocked out of me, my head felt really zingy and I could feel tears pushing out involuntarily... not like "I am not gonna cry" involuntary tears, more like tears that were a body function--like sweating or sneezing almost. I crawled to the middle of the track, there was no getting up from this doozy of a fall. I felt shocked and scared. People asked me if I was o.k. and I couldn't respond because I didn't know. It was a very strange and otherworldly feeling. The weirdest part was that my butt didn't hurt at all! What I finally noticed hurting (a lot!) was my neck. Derby Whiplash? I looked to Millie to try to figure out what to do. She asked if my upper body was tensing up. I thought, oh yeah, I should lie down so that I can relax my neck and not have it seize up. I lay on my back and listened to the continuing scrimmage---the sounds of shouting and the loud crash of someone else taking a fall. I lay there on my back, looking up and trying to relax. Millie stuck by me and told me to breathe, exhaling fully and letting my back relax down to the floor. I swear, that woman should market her own guided relaxation recording! Her kids must love when she reads them bed-time stories 'cos that woman really can encourage calm amid chaos. Listening to her voice, concentrating on breathing and relaxing (and not freaking out) was really completely turning things around. After a while I was able to sit up. I slowly rolled my shoulders, moved my head from side to side and couldn't detect any concussion-like feelings or other signs of major injury. In fact, I was able to block in one more scrimmage! Glad I could get back on the horse that threw me. Wasn't ready to jam, but held my own and actually did a couple of decent positional blocks (making sure my butt was in the jammer's way).

So all-in-all, the falling experience was a pretty good one. The best part was seeing that my girls had my back. Right away, people were checking on me and FM Rachel looked me right in the eye --always helpful with people who are out to lunch!--and asked if I needed ice or anything else. My derby sisters stuck with me up until I was feeling better. I got to learn firsthand that "Derby Hurts" but that we survive. Our world can be completely rocked--even stop for a moment... but we can start back up again and be ready for the next challenge. Go me!