Miss December!

I have been chosen as Derby Girl of the Month for December 2010! 

 I am so honored and touched.  

Thank you!

You can read the full write-up on the SCDG website.

More Meat Craft

Remember my post about Fresh Meat Craft?  Well Craft just compiled a list of their favorite meat projects after seeing Lady Gaga's recent meat outfits.  So there are many more meat crafting ideas for your favorite Freshie!  Though I would personally leave the real meat in the fridge, away from my sewing needle!

Where Is She Now?

So, I realize that I have not submitted a blog post in over two months.  You see, I've been going through some growing pains with the sport and have decided to spend the rest of the season off of skates.  This was a pretty hard decision to make (I think I cried for the entire week before and the entire week after changing my status), but I needed to regain my perspective and perhaps my sanity.

About two weeks before our scheduled scrimmage assessment I decided to stop skating.  I felt like I was so close to the finish line and it still feels like I gave up too early, but I was (am) still unable to do that turn stop and my entire eligibility to assess and to someday tryout for a team seemed to hinge upon that one skill.  I know that I had two weeks to practice, practice, practice, but I had just lost my drive and my enthusiasm.  I felt angry and frustrated and I would dread going to practice; my attendance significantly dropped off and I didn't even want to go watch practice.  I used to cry a lot after practice, but when I started to cry consistently before and during practice, I thought I probably needed a chance to regroup.

I didn't quit the league entirely.  I had considered doing so, but I think that I do have some value in an off-skates capacity.  I am on two league committees and I'd like to think that I am pretty good at what is asked of me there.  So I'm just taking some time off and focusing my energies elsewhere..maybe I'll do more sewing, because I am definitely good at that and could use an ego boost.  I'm going to give my knees a rest (they've been hurting a lot walking down inclines) and when I feel a little better, maybe I'll consider getting back on the wheels.

In the meantime, I'd like to congratulate all of the gals who did their scrimmage assessment on Wednesday.  I'm very proud of you all and it was a pleasure skating with you.  Your FM cohort was made up of a really sweet bunch of girls and I wish you luck with your derby future.  For those that didn't take the assessments, that's okay too...You'll do it when you're ready and you'll be great!  

And a BIG congratulations to Dewey Decibel!  Yay!!!  I'm very proud of you for all of your hard work and thank you so much for your encouragement and support.

Thank you for reading!

To and Fro

At my last practice I realized the importance of security.  That is, the security of one's self in one's sports bra.  After a desperate search for the aforementioned athletic garment in the clean clothes pile and a realization that all were buried deep within the dirty pile, I decided not to wear a sports bra.  It wasn't like I thought we were going to be jumping up and down at practice,  which is, in my estimation, the major reason for tethering oneself in restrictive undergarmentry, so I decided to risk my security -- I  grabbed the first thing I saw, a soft black nylon number lacking in underwiring and strapped in.

I realized the error of my ways even before I had made it out onto the floor.  On my walk from the house to the car and from the car to the Palladium, one of the girls had become unleashed.  Through my t-shirt, I discreetly tucked Miss Lefty back in her place and went out onto the floor.  Maybe it wasn't even the best choice in normal bras!

Not long after skating a bit, I again cursed my foolish thinking.  It doesn't matter that they do not bounce up and down as they would if one were out jogging, because in skating they sway from side to side; it's sort of a swish-swishy-swish movement.  After the pace-line, I made a dash for my bag.  I knew I had an Ace bandage and some sticky athletic tape tucked into one of the pockets.  I had visions of a Just One of the Guys/Boys Don't Cry wrap-job.  As soon as I found them, I ran to the bathroom and started picking at the tape with my fingernail.  It would not peel away!   Time was running out, because we had only been released for a quick water break.  Ugh!  What to do?!?!

I ended up skipping the tape and finishing the rest of practice with lots of adjustments, maneuvers, and shimmies to keep my girls in place.  Never again will I be without security whilst on skates! 

Someday

I am under the impression that if we cannot successfully execute a turn-stop, then derby life, as we know it, will abruptly come to an end.  Okay, well maybe we'll still be allowed to practice if we can't do this, but we will be shunned by polite society and we will be banned from team playing.  You could feel the ripples of panic wash over the turn-stop-challenged skaters at practice on Monday night when this edict was given.

The following video demonstrates three types of stops, the T-stop, the Plow, and the Turn-stop (or Tomahawk).   The lady clearly states that the turn-stop is an "advanced move" (1:22) and is "difficult to execute" (1:28).  I can do the plow stop and am very wobbly when it comes to the T-stop.  So I'm one for three, because the turn-stop reduces me to tears of frustration each time I attempt it.



I'll get it eventually.  I mean, I eventually got the crossing over thing after a loooong time.  Of course, I'm pretty sure that I still look like a doofus doing them and the WFTDA minimum skills requirements clearly state that one must not look like a doofus when doing crossovers (1.3.3).  In short, I am personally not in a complete panic about these turn-stops.  I haven't even passed the scrimmage assessments yet, so the chances of making a team at the end of the month were slim to none to begin with.  So, I'm just going to plod along as Slow N. Steady Sue and I'll get there...someday.

Coastal Trail and Belly Rash

I just washed off seven layers of sweat after a very, very long skate along the Coastal Trail from Sand City to Monterey.   Eight of us gathered at the Borders in Sand City this morning to gear up and skate what could have possibly been a twelve-mile roundtrip excursion.  This trail was great; there were exciting downhills, challenging uphills, gorgeous coastal views, and the weather was fantastic!

On those exciting downhill slopes, however, I tended to be a Nervous Nellie.  I wanted to go fast, but I feared plummeting to my death off the embankment and into the ocean.  To prevent the aforesaid death, I took a dive into the pavement on the first major downhill slope.  I just kept gathering speed despite my attempt at plowstopping all the way down and when the speed became too much, down I went.  I ended up skidding on my stomach along the pavement.  It was a pretty hard hit and it definitely knocked the wind out of me.  I now have a 1x2 inch patch of road rash on my stomach just below the belly button.

Soon after recovering from this bit of treachery, my forward progression was hampered by sand traps along the trail.  There are these fantastic golden sand dunes along one portion of the coast and they tend to meander....right onto the path.  There were a number of these patches along the pavement and  I quickly discovered that you cannot go through these sand traps with any sort of momentum and must either walk through them or get onto the roadway, which will thus cause little old ladies driving red cars to honk incessantly at you to get out of the road.

Otherwise the skate was pretty uneventful (in that there was no additional damage to my body).  We stopped for lunch in Cannery Row and skipped a big ol' uphill on the way back to the cars.  I ran into a coworker (Hi Phil!) who recognized me because I was wearing my Scarlett O'Feral track jacket.  The whole experience was a lot of fun and definitely worth another try!

     (This is the only picture that was taken with my camera. We stopped for a very pretty one with the marina in the background, but the kind photographer could not figure out my camera.  Oh well.  And that's me in the shark shirt.)

Track Jackets!

The Derby Santa delivered our personalized track jackets today!  I'm still a little bit nervous about going official with Scarlett O'Feral, because the derby name registry has not been updated since November 9th, but I went and got my name emblazoned across the chest of my track jackets!  Yikes!  Hopefully it will be official soon.  I skipped putting the number on them, because I just can't remember which number I chose.  

Transitioning

I have been a little reluctant to go the whole hog and fully transition into using my derby name, Scarlett O'Feral.  I changed it on our derby internal forum and then I added it to my Facebook profile, but took it off soon after.  I also haven't yet changed over the name on my helmet from FM Rachel.  I guess my reasoning is that I have not yet passed my scrimmage assessment.  I had to work late at our last assessments so I missed them and I still have doubts that I would even pass the next set and until I do pass I have this feeling that I don't deserve to use my derby name.  Maybe I am being silly about it, but I have this idea that the scrimmage assessment is a sort of rite of passage.  I kind of want to feel proud of earning my name and not just getting it because I've stuck around for 90 days and the new Fresh Meat group has some duplicates of our names.  I'll admit that it was confusing hearing Rachel-this and Rachel-that at practice last night when people were not talking to me, but I managed.  But I suppose I have to just get over this reluctance and peel the old name off my helmet and stick the new name on.

Pervert Alert

So, here I am in Cary, NC visiting my family for the Thanksgiving holiday.  This morning I decided to whip out my skates and skate to where we'll be having Thanksgiving dinner and then back to my mom's house.  Of course, I have no idea where I am going in Cary, and looking at the map now, I realize that I went the completely wrong direction, but that is besides the point.  Anyway, so out I skated into the foggy morning with only knee pads and wrist guards for protection.  It was rough going at first, because the sidewalks were covered in pine needles and fallen leaves, but eventually I made it to a pretty nice stretch of cement.  I turned around after diving into a grassy little hill in front of an old folks' home when I got nervous about stopping on a steep hill (hey!  that's why they teach us the monkey roll!).  I was wet, dirty and getting tired, so I started going back home.

When I was halfway back home, I came upon a little office complex inlet and a white car was at the stop sign.  I waved for the driver, who was talking on his cell phone, to mosey on, but he waved back at me and even backed up a bit to let me pass.  How polite!  I waved my thanks and skated on.  When I came to the next inlet, the same little white car was there with the same driver still talking on the phone.  I laughed and shrugged at him, because it was strange, but all these little inlets always seem connected somehow.  I didn't think anything of it, until I looked back and saw his fist moving quite rapidly up and down in his lap.  Seriously?  Again, I say, seriously?

The sidewalk ended just a little bit after that, so I had to skate across the road to the other side.  I turned back and saw the white car pull out of the inlet and up into the next street right in front of me.  I paused on the sidewalk to fiddle with my skates and to see if he would drive on.  A little orange car pulled up behind him, so he had to drive away.  What a relief!  I skated on, but saw the little white car again with the same driver on the phone at the next street! This was getting a little ridiculous.

I kept having to pause to fix my toe stops, which were jingling quite a bit, and I was really hoping the guy would not follow me all the way home.  I was coming up to a big intersection, where I would have to turn to the right.  I looked back and the white car was waiting at a street watching me.  When I turned to the right, he pulled out and also turned right.  He pulled into the next housing development inlet.  I paused, got my phone camera all ready, and when I skated past I attempted to take his photo!  His left hand was holding the phone (still!) and the right was very active in his lap.  When I held up the phone, he raised his right hand to cover his face.  By this time, I had started yelling at him.  I called him a [expletive deleted] pervert and, because I had had a chance to memorize his license plate, I started yelling that out at him too.

When I paused after passing the car, he backed up into the development.  I decided to chase him down the road.  I was still on skates, with loose turn stops, so I kept to the grass for some traction.  He continued backing into the development and then backed into another road off to the left.  I backtracked up the hill and decided to hide behind the bushes at the opening of the development.  When he slowly pulled up, I jumped out and clicked my phone camera.  I wanted a photo of his license plate too, but when I tried to skate over to that, I noticed that he had opened his car door.

This is where I decided to retreat.  If I had been in my sneakers I could have been a little quicker about getting the license plate and running off, but on skates I just felt so limited in my mobility and not in control of my feet. I also was not stable enough on my wheels to stay and engage this pervert in debate on the pros and cons of stalking wannabe derby girls! I started to skate on and he closed his door and drove on up ahead of me into the next inlet.  This guy would not give  up!  Luckily, I was really close to home so I was able to lose him by timing my escape into my mother's development while he was turning around to wait at the stop sign.  Once in my mom's development, I skated as fast as I could to get home and then I lost a toe stop!   [Expletive deleted.]   I frantically skated back for it, sliding along the damp blacktop.  When I got home, my mom encouraged me to call the police, which I did.  I made my report and they are now on the lookout for the pervert.

So this was the start of my Thanksgiving.  I know it will get better, because I have some really good food and wine waiting for me.  And after all that, this is the only clear shot I got of the sex fiend.  I submit to you Exhibit 1 for evidence:

For Hardcore Derby Enthusiasts

Okay, so I'm getting married next October and have been perusing all of these wedding sites.  My favorite is the Offbeat Bride and a recent post featured a roller skating wedding!  This is definitely for hardcore derby enthusiasts and I cannot imagine my groom or some of my guests attempting to skate around the Palladium!  Plus this wedding took place locally in San Ramon!  Read all about it here.

(this photo was lifted from the couple's Flickr page)

Fresh Meat Craft

I am so excited by how many crafters there are on our team.  We have sewers, bakers, jewelry makers, paper crafters, sign artists, and so many more!  With our new batch of Fresh Meaties, I'm sure we'll discover that we have recruited a whole bunch of crafty women.

This blog post features a few craft items that feature meat.  Why not use these ideas to throw a Fresh Meat Support Group party?  Or with the holiday season rolling around, why not make your fellow Fresh Meat gal something from this selection?  I know our status as Fresh Meat is (in theory) only temporary, but these things are still pretty neat:

Meat Cookies

When we had our Fresh Meat graduation party, I went downtown to look for  a T-bone cookie cutter at ChefWorks.  I could not find one!  I was so surprised, because one would think that that is a pretty popular item.  I mean, who wouldn't want meat-shaped cookies  served at a backyard BBQ or baby shower?  Anyway, I continued my search on the internet and found this blog post featuring a line of meat cookie cutters from Avedano's of San Francisco.  I don't know if they are still available, because they were a limited-edition piece, but wow!  The blog post did a fancy mixed dough cookie, but I envision just a plain sugar cookie with red, pink, and white royal icing swirled together.  The downside to these cookie cutters (and the reason why I don't have one in my arsenal of baking supplies):  they cost $30.00 each, according to this website.

Embroidered Meat

My new-found sewing addiction is embroidery.  Sublime Stitching has a new line of meat embroidery patterns, called Meaty Treats.  How neat is that?  There are T-bones, sausage links, bacon, drumsticks, and much more.  You could make your FM derby sister an embroidered pillowcase to rest her weary head after a grueling practice.  Or perhaps your FM derby sister could use an embroidered towel to dab the sweat from her brow during practice.  Or perhaps she needs a canvas bag to carry all that new gear.  The possibilities are endless (and fun)!

Felt Plushies
These felt meat steaks are wonderful.  I found a blog post of a woman who is making them as toys for her baby.  Babies, schmabies!  If you love handsewing, felt, and meat, why not make some for your FM sisters!  You know that she can use them for...well, I don't know what for, because I don't own any plushies.  Though, when looking up the term plushies (to make sure I was using it correctly), I discovered that it also refers to a paraphilia.  Well, that's an idea...

And if you don't craft yourself, but appreciate the fine art of handmade goods, why not visit Etsy for some meat-themed crafts.

Playing Dress Up

I went and walked around downtown Santa Cruz last night for about an hour to check out all of the costumes and whatnot.  I was expecting to see a lot of roller girl costumes, but only came across two:

I think that these gals actually qualify for the roller disco look rather than the derby girl look and I expected them to break out into song at any moment:

Name Trouble

So at yesterday's Fresh Meat gathering, Pigeon had a list of our chosen names and Jackie O-Smashes was on the reject pile!  Why? Apparently, when Pigeon searches for it, the name gets a high similarity rating because of this result:  Jaque O'Smashus.  When I search for it, Jackie comes back with a medium similarity result to other names.  So confusing!

I referenced Brian's master punning list and selected another name:

Pigeon said it was okay when she searched the Registry for other names that are similar to it.  I searched for it too and came up with these results.  Scarlett O'Scara gets a high similarity rating, so does this mean that my name choice is actually no good?  I really am confused by this naming process and I think my brain is about to explode!

It's Hittin' Time

I think that last night was the first time we worked on really hitting people at Fresh Meat practice.

Due to the inclement weather (remnants of Typhoon Melor), only eight or nine of us showed up for our hour-long practice.  We started with some pace line and pack drills and then we moved on to some mini-scrimmaging.  Each team was down a pivot, so we each only had three blockers and one jammer. We worked on opening holes for our jammer by hitting fellow blockers and we were also allowed to hit the jammer.

For some reason, I always seemed to be on the ground or stuck at the back of the pack.  I had one moment of glory, however, when on our second or third jam, FM Kat was jamming and I was still stuck in the back of the pack.  I wanted to help out Kat, but the blocker in front of me was FM Kellie.  Kellie is a force to be reckoned with out there -- she played hockey for years and is just a super solid skater.  So for me, a not-so-confident skater, I had a moment of hesitation before taking her on.  I had no choice, however, but to engage.

I made contact with FM Kellie and down I went!  I heard a body or two (or three) hit the ground after me.  I don't really know who all went down, because I had, well, um, closed my eyes when I went in for the hit.   Hating the idea of causing skater pile-ups, I just started to automatically apologize as I scrambled to my feet.  Coach Charlie was skating toward me with this giant smile, telling me to stop apologizing.  She shook my hand and congratulated me for doing what I was supposed to do!  Kellie and Kat also gave me congratulatory taps and words.  Yay!  I still don't know what I did or if I could do it again...

We finished the night by breaking into groups of three.  The skaters on the outside took turns hitting the person in the middle into the next person.  For example, I would hit FM Evelyn into FM Alayna and then Alayna would hit Evelyn into me.  I threw multiple elbows (sorry ladies...still new at hitting!), but overall I think I had some decent hits.  Coach Crushed N. Slayedher complimented me when I hit without a tell, because there was no change in my body language prior to going in for a hit.

I spent an inordinate amount of time on the ground yesterday and my bottom is really sore this morning.  My left shoulder muscles are also pretty tender.  I think I had a pretty good practice, but I really need to work on remaining upright after collisions.

Red Alert: Must Submit Name!

Okay, so apparently they want us to hand in our names as soon as possible -- even if we have not passed our assessments!  Due to the lag time associated with name submissions, it looks like they are trying to streamline the process so as to avoid future delays.

That being said, I guess it is time for the unveiling of the name I will be submitting.  All the credit for this one goes to Brian, my fiance, who came up with this back in July or August.  We had a few other contenders:  Annie Chokely was my favorite for a while, but we already have an Anny [UpYours] on the team; Luna Shovegood was something I came up with while watching the latest HP movie, but Luna Skategood already exists on the Registry, Luna is kind of close to Lulu, and when you google the name some girl with the Cajun Rollergirls comes up; and I really wanted to do something using Clarice Starling, but just could not come up with anything.

So here goes...what do you think???

The only thing I haven't chosen is a number.   Any suggestions?

The Name Game

There are scrimmage assessments tonight.

[crickets chirping]

Don't worry...not for me!!  Silly people!  I may be crazy, but I'm not that crazy!  There are about six Fresh Meaties who will be going through the scrimmage assessment tonight and they'll do great.  They've proven that they are strong skaters and they always seem to work really well together when they are in a pack. As for me, well, I think I'll need three or four more weeks...er, I mean, months before I am ready to go through that scrimmage assessment.  I'd like to imagine that I could take a beating or two in the assessment, but I have no idea what I'm doing out on the track.  I don't know anything about the roles of blockers B1, B2, or B3.  I try to listen to the Pivot, but eventually I just do something wrong or fall or lose my place and feel like a grand disappointment.  So until I have a better grasp of general pack strategy, I'm just going to sit these scrimmages out.

In other news, once these ladies pass their scrimmage assessments, they'll be able to put in for their derby names (I think).  Yay!!  That's so exciting.  I can't wait to hear the names that they've chosen for themselves.  Will we have a Rotten Rita or a Smashing Sally?

[do I hear crickets again?]

Okay, so I know I'm not really all that great at this name picking thing.  And that is why, back around the time of tryouts, I tasked my mom, friends, and boyfriend with coming up with a variety of names.  They did not disappoint.  I probably had about over 100 names to work with.  Some were taken, of course, as we discovered when checking the Roller Girl Name Registry, but others were not.  The excitement for choosing a name, however, has sort of died down for me.  Once I started practicing and realized that this Fresh Meat process was going to take me quite a while, I thought I would let the dust settle a bit and when it came time to pick a name, then I would allow myself to get all excited again.

Don't get me wrong, out of those 100 names, I did cling to about three or four that I thought would be good, but there's always a chance that those names will get chosen by someone else while I'm waiting to pass the scrimmage assessment.  Oh well!  It will just be back to the drawing board at that point.  And if all else fails, I also discovered that when having trouble coming up with names, a great little source for inspiration can be found by perusing lists of old Garbage Pail Kids.  See what I mean:

We Review Whip It

On Friday night we went out to the Whip It premiere in Santa Cruz...here's what we thought:

FM Rachel: I went into Whip It expecting to totally identify with Ellen Page's character, Bliss, a bit of Fresh Meat with TXRD's Hurl Scouts. I wanted her to struggle more and to be really bad at skating (like me) and then to triumph, but after a three minute training montage she just seemed to start flying around the track. How is that possible??? There were some other things that bothered me, namely: the food fight (who is going to clean that up?), the underwater sexy scene (why aren't they drowning?), people not wearing seatbelts (what kind of message does that send our youth?), love-interest Oliver (take a bath and do your laundry!), and on-track fighting (we don't do that!).

For all the things that I didn't like, here's what I did like:

• Kristin Wiig (Maggie Mayhem): I have a big fat crush on Kristin Wiig. She makes me laugh every time I watch her in something. Plus, in Whip It, a film with a lot of characters and very little character development, we actually got to know a little bit more about Maggie Mayhem and I liked that.
• Andrew Wilson (Razor): Another Wilson brother? Who knew? But this guy may now be my favorite one!
• The dad: Daniel Stern (think tall villain from Home Alone) was great as Bliss' father. He was sweet, funny, and tender. I absolutely loved the scene at the end with the lawn post. So touching.
• Alia Shawkat (Pash/bff): It's Maeby Funke from Arrested Development!! I thought she was just slightly underutilized in Whip It, but she was still adorable and funny.

So that's pretty much it.  My recommendation: See it if you love all things derby and are willing to overlook the movie's overall cutesiness.

FM Daisy:  I went to Whip It hoping to see something I wished I could have seen as a 12 year old. I was not disappointed. The tag line "Be Your Own Hero" is something every girl (perhaps of any age!) needs to hear. It's a great antidote to the message girls get about staying in the background. Don't limit your dreams! Be Your Own Hero! Kick ass for yourself! (And kick your own ass!) Push yourself and fight for what you want to do in this life... not your mom's antiquated picture of what femininity is!  Seeing it with skaters and other fresh meat was great, but hearing the Junior Derby girls cheer at their favorite parts was what really made my night. Those girls are being their own heroes!

• I agree with FM Rachel. The quick-training sequence did not show an accurate picture of the trials and tribulations of fresh-meatdom. I felt a little redeemed when Iron Maven said she's 36 and has had to work her ass off. I could definitely relate--It's hard to be in your late 30s and see some young whippersnapper have it come easy!
• I liked that Bliss was afraid of hitting... (not that I can relate with that At All...*whistling*)
  
• I thought the different derby personality types were pretty accurate renditions of real phenomena: Maggie Mayhem was wonderful-- tough, encouraging and hilarious! (My friend Vin says she reminds him of FM Alayna.) Smashlee Simpson didn't give a s*&$t about much... and I've seen girls like that--acting crazy and having fun and not worrying about rules or even knowing that tryouts are coming up. It was fun to see Drew Barrymore having a good time--especially beating up her 'fiance' and him loving it! Iron Maven (the divine Juliette Lewis!) was a great nemesis. She was the scary, scrappy girl--the loose cannon aimed right at you! Yikes!
  
• I loved the parents. The mom really was trying (willing to buy combat boots "At least they don't have duct tape on them") and good movie dads almost always make me cry. I loved how he looked up derby on Google. Awww!
• The Love interest: *slight spoiler alert* I really liked how the romance part of the story turned out. Was relieved that Bliss followed her bliss--put herself first ahead of some stupid guy who didn't respect her. Are there any movies besides this and White Men Can't Jump where a girl doesn't settle for a loser guy? Let me know!!
• I liked that people looked real. Dude (Oliver) had a big nose and bad teeth, Maggie had wrinkles, Bliss was super pale and Pash was super freckled. Movies are more realistic to me when people look like people I might know rather than supermodels.

All in all, I say see it! To make it even better, when you sit down in that theater seat, tune in with your inner 12-year-old girl and soak in the reminder to Be Your Own Hero!

Backward Blues

Do you suppose I could get that Aussie mom to serve me up some Ovaltine to help me with skating backwards?  I sincerely believe that the harder I try to go in reverse, the tougher it gets -- just like the ad says.

Going forward on skates has been tough enough.  Had I not been getting my skates tweaked at Monday's practice when Raven made us show off a skating talent, I would have just skated in the forward motion without falling -- that is about as talented as I get these days!  I'm even making (very slight) progress going forward in the clockwise direction, but this whole backwards thing is just gibberish to my feet and hips.

I don't remember if we did any backwards skating at tryouts, but at our very first practice we did a little bit of it and I remember just being immobilized, stuck at the far end of the Palladium, while everyone else had made it back to the line.  Liv N. LetDie took pity on my cement-footed self and basically pushed me all the way back to the line.  Since then we have done some backwards skating at practices.  I usually can only go about two feet, while everyone else does about ten laps.

A lot of people have tried to help me with this skating hurdle.  FM Kellie gave me some personal instruction at one of those Friday night Open Skates back in early August.  She told me to focus on how I was using my toes in the propulsion motion.  That seemed like a good plan back then, when I did not have chronic foot pain on the top of my right foot.  Cinzilla and Mildred Fierce tried to help at a Saturday Open Skate and instructed me to do some sort of back wheel foot lift, but I can never seem to remember the exact mechanics of that motion during practices.

So tonight Charlie made us do a lot of backwards skating.  Maybe I made it more than two feet tonight, but not by much.  Charlie showed me how to use my hips and how to carve my foot and it made perfect sense when watching her fluid movements, but when trying to apply these to my FrankenSkate body, I just floundered.

But at least now I have a bunch of things to work with at the next Open Skate.  Maybe I'll just try and skate backwards the entire time.   That will be super boring and very frustrating, but I need to just focus and figure this thing out.  There has to come a time when the harder I try, the easier it will be, right?

Now where's that Ovaltine?

Derby/Life Balance

It is so obvious that I suffer from the same dilemma that the girl in the above commercial also suffers from:  skating has taken over our lives!  That last line in the commercial sums it all up:  "When you've got something better to do than cook!"  Every week it seems that my grocery shopping and dinner preparation chores get sidelined because I am doing something derby-related.  Last night, we went to Trader Joe's, which is not our usual grocery store, just because we needed food for the house that is quick, effortless, and (gulp) pre-packaged.  I am not a pre-packaged food kind of person.  I like the hours needed to read through the recipe, chop, marinate, broil, baste, etc.  I just don't seem to have the time for that anymore.  If I miss grocery shopping or cooking a big meal on Sunday night, then I'm rushing to (double gulp) Safeway right after practice on Monday night just for a few breakfast things, and for dinner I'm subsisting on whatever small morsels I have sitting around the cupboard.

There are other lifestyle changes besides meal preparation that have been lost to derby as well.  I no longer seem to read books.  I am weeks behind in my book club book, because instead of devouring that book over breakfast, I am on the internet looking up all things derby.  And what about sewing?  I'm supposed to make my sister some cloth baby wipes from old towels.  My little nephew must have a super dirty bum by this time with all the baby wipes that I have NOT made.  The only sewing I have done in the past few weeks has been, well, you guessed it:  derby-related.  I still work, of course, but driving to and from appointments has been consumed with thoughts about derby and practice and skates and teammates and...you get the picture.  And what about the poor boyfriend?  He wants to hang out on Friday nights because he has barely seen me all week and all I want to do is go down to the Palladium for some Open Skate.

The only thing that I haven't fallen behind on is laundry.  And why is that?  Well, I need to keep my derby clothes laundered, of course!  I have just so many workout pants to wear and if I don't keep them clean, then I will have to resort to (triple gulp) booty shorts and tights.  I need to also wash multiple pairs of knee-high socks plus my two name shirts so that people can tell who I am at practice.  (Apparently my helmet name sticker is not really working because the letters are too big and when directly behind me people can only see "ACHE", which is how their eyes and minds must feel after watching me skate!)

At a recent work conference they had us make a pie chart detailing our Work/Life Balance.  I really need to sit down and do a Derby/Life Balance chart so that I can deal with all these changes!  Otherwise, I'm going to have to go pick up a busload of those Take 5 dinners!

Inkadinkadon't

I keep getting asked about tattoos.  If I have any, when I'm getting them, etc.  I have to end this line of questioning here and now.  Though I have managed to get my toe just inside the derby door, my body is unadorned, uninked, and artless, and it shall remain so.  It's not that I have anything against tattoos.  I'm just trying to think about my future.  I mean, what if someday I happen to be on the NOC list?  Would it be a good idea to have an entry in the Identifying Marks section?  I need to keep my body as anonymous as possible.  I am, afterall, still waiting for the CIA to come recruit me as soon as they realize that I am the next Sydney Bristow: