Tuesday, September 29, 2009

Backward Blues

Do you suppose I could get that Aussie mom to serve me up some Ovaltine to help me with skating backwards?  I sincerely believe that the harder I try to go in reverse, the tougher it gets -- just like the ad says.

Going forward on skates has been tough enough.  Had I not been getting my skates tweaked at Monday's practice when Raven made us show off a skating talent, I would have just skated in the forward motion without falling -- that is about as talented as I get these days!  I'm even making (very slight) progress going forward in the clockwise direction, but this whole backwards thing is just gibberish to my feet and hips.

I don't remember if we did any backwards skating at tryouts, but at our very first practice we did a little bit of it and I remember just being immobilized, stuck at the far end of the Palladium, while everyone else had made it back to the line.  Liv N. LetDie took pity on my cement-footed self and basically pushed me all the way back to the line.  Since then we have done some backwards skating at practices.  I usually can only go about two feet, while everyone else does about ten laps.

A lot of people have tried to help me with this skating hurdle.  FM Kellie gave me some personal instruction at one of those Friday night Open Skates back in early August.  She told me to focus on how I was using my toes in the propulsion motion.  That seemed like a good plan back then, when I did not have chronic foot pain on the top of my right foot.  Cinzilla and Mildred Fierce tried to help at a Saturday Open Skate and instructed me to do some sort of back wheel foot lift, but I can never seem to remember the exact mechanics of that motion during practices.

So tonight Charlie made us do a lot of backwards skating.  Maybe I made it more than two feet tonight, but not by much.  Charlie showed me how to use my hips and how to carve my foot and it made perfect sense when watching her fluid movements, but when trying to apply these to my FrankenSkate body, I just floundered.

But at least now I have a bunch of things to work with at the next Open Skate.  Maybe I'll just try and skate backwards the entire time.   That will be super boring and very frustrating, but I need to just focus and figure this thing out.  There has to come a time when the harder I try, the easier it will be, right?

Now where's that Ovaltine?

Roller Derby on Film!

Drew Barrymore directs "Whip It."

For a survey of derby on film over the decades see

Mildred Fierce's latest "Skate Like a Girl"

Whoopsy Daisy!

It happened. My ass smack down on the ground.

Last night's practice, led expertly by Raven Von Kaos, was everything a good practice should be. It challenged our endurance with a pyramid sprint drill and suicide drills. It built our skills with 20 laps (in each direction) skating as a pack. It bolstered our confidence--Raven had us one by one, take the track and show the group something we're good at while the rest of the group cheered. Foxee Firestorm busted out the sweet dance moves. Pixie Painful did that trick where you balance on the front wheels on one skate, and the back wheels on another. Mildred Fierce displayed mad storytelling skills with a lovely knee-slide finale. Others did impressive Figure 4 Falls, Knee Dips, and some very cool Rexing!

And we had time for fun at the end of practice. Ever play "Freeze Tag" on skates? You should!! Raven had us divide into 4 groups (wearing colored pinnies) each with one jammer. As we all skated around the track, our jammer tagged other team members (minus jammers) while other team's jammers tagged us. Once tagged, we had to stop until another of our team members could come by to tag and 'unfreeze' us. So Fun!! During my turn as jammer I must have had the craziest look on my face as I tried (many times unsuccessfully) to tag Heather Headlocklear as she flew around. It really pushed me to skate my fastest like nothing else has.

Great practice right? Well, perhaps the cherry on top of that great practice sundae was breaking the sudden vertical drop barrier. We were scrimmaging, I was blocking in the back of the pack and suddenly, completely out of nowhere, I was DOWN! Right on my ass! I fell so hard I felt like I might find that there was a hole in the floor and my butt was sitting on the concrete foundation of the palladium! It was such an absolute surprise. I felt this fall throughout my entire body--it completely shook my entire world. My mind was working overtime. Thoughts flying through included "Did I hurt my coccyx like FM Jenipher? Did I get a concussion? Am I gonna get a super hemotoma like Roxy?" The wind was knocked out of me, my head felt really zingy and I could feel tears pushing out involuntarily... not like "I am not gonna cry" involuntary tears, more like tears that were a body function--like sweating or sneezing almost. I crawled to the middle of the track, there was no getting up from this doozy of a fall. I felt shocked and scared. People asked me if I was o.k. and I couldn't respond because I didn't know. It was a very strange and otherworldly feeling. The weirdest part was that my butt didn't hurt at all! What I finally noticed hurting (a lot!) was my neck. Derby Whiplash? I looked to Millie to try to figure out what to do. She asked if my upper body was tensing up. I thought, oh yeah, I should lie down so that I can relax my neck and not have it seize up. I lay on my back and listened to the continuing scrimmage---the sounds of shouting and the loud crash of someone else taking a fall. I lay there on my back, looking up and trying to relax. Millie stuck by me and told me to breathe, exhaling fully and letting my back relax down to the floor. I swear, that woman should market her own guided relaxation recording! Her kids must love when she reads them bed-time stories 'cos that woman really can encourage calm amid chaos. Listening to her voice, concentrating on breathing and relaxing (and not freaking out) was really completely turning things around. After a while I was able to sit up. I slowly rolled my shoulders, moved my head from side to side and couldn't detect any concussion-like feelings or other signs of major injury. In fact, I was able to block in one more scrimmage! Glad I could get back on the horse that threw me. Wasn't ready to jam, but held my own and actually did a couple of decent positional blocks (making sure my butt was in the jammer's way).

So all-in-all, the falling experience was a pretty good one. The best part was seeing that my girls had my back. Right away, people were checking on me and FM Rachel looked me right in the eye --always helpful with people who are out to lunch!--and asked if I needed ice or anything else. My derby sisters stuck with me up until I was feeling better. I got to learn firsthand that "Derby Hurts" but that we survive. Our world can be completely rocked--even stop for a moment... but we can start back up again and be ready for the next challenge. Go me!

Saturday, September 26, 2009

Go Nor Cal!!

I'll be attending this out of town bout, wearing green and supporting our Silicon Valley sisters as they battle Orange County. In an interesting parallel, Rachel's attending SCDG Boardwalk Bombshells vs San Diego Derby Dolls in San Diego tonight. We'll be sure to post the details!

Tuesday, September 22, 2009

Boil 'n' Bite Bites Back

I have No Love for my little blue mouth-monster. I'm not sure, but I think tonight's incident with my mouth guard was the grossest yet. No, I didn't drop it in the toilet... though I do think about it, I hate it so. I was skating along, minding my business, chewing on my mouth guard as I was trying to perform any number of challenging drills tonight at Fresh Meat practice (more on the chewing later) and low and behold, I got to experience what it's like to have a mouth guard AND a hair in my mouth. YECHHH! So I'm skating and chewing along (BAD IDEA, don't engage in this nasty habit, I think I have a permanent mouth-sore on my left upper gum) and NOW I'm trying to dislodge aforementioned hair from the mouth guard with my tongue as I skate. Disgusting. And the first attempt at extracting both mouth guard and hair from my mouth (with my hands...) didn't even work. I found myself skating around the track waiting for another break in drills to make the attempt again. 2nd try was a charm. Phew!

Daisy's mouth guard experiences so far:
-Dripping drool down my front after taking it out-- check.
-Dropping it on the floor and putting it back in--oh yeah.
-Mouth sores from compulsive cud-like chewing--yep!
-Washing the thing only once. Ever.--mais oui, that's me!
-and now the hair.

Just. Plain. Gross.

Monday, September 21, 2009

Derby/Life Balance

It is so obvious that I suffer from the same dilemma that the girl in the above commercial also suffers from:  skating has taken over our lives!  That last line in the commercial sums it all up:  "When you've got something better to do than cook!"  Every week it seems that my grocery shopping and dinner preparation chores get sidelined because I am doing something derby-related.  Last night, we went to Trader Joe's, which is not our usual grocery store, just because we needed food for the house that is quick, effortless, and (gulp) pre-packaged.  I am not a pre-packaged food kind of person.  I like the hours needed to read through the recipe, chop, marinate, broil, baste, etc.  I just don't seem to have the time for that anymore.  If I miss grocery shopping or cooking a big meal on Sunday night, then I'm rushing to (double gulp) Safeway right after practice on Monday night just for a few breakfast things, and for dinner I'm subsisting on whatever small morsels I have sitting around the cupboard.

There are other lifestyle changes besides meal preparation that have been lost to derby as well.  I no longer seem to read books.  I am weeks behind in my book club book, because instead of devouring that book over breakfast, I am on the internet looking up all things derby.  And what about sewing?  I'm supposed to make my sister some cloth baby wipes from old towels.  My little nephew must have a super dirty bum by this time with all the baby wipes that I have NOT made.  The only sewing I have done in the past few weeks has been, well, you guessed it:  derby-related.  I still work, of course, but driving to and from appointments has been consumed with thoughts about derby and practice and skates and teammates and...you get the picture.  And what about the poor boyfriend?  He wants to hang out on Friday nights because he has barely seen me all week and all I want to do is go down to the Palladium for some Open Skate.

The only thing that I haven't fallen behind on is laundry.  And why is that?  Well, I need to keep my derby clothes laundered, of course!  I have just so many workout pants to wear and if I don't keep them clean, then I will have to resort to (triple gulp) booty shorts and tights.  I need to also wash multiple pairs of knee-high socks plus my two name shirts so that people can tell who I am at practice.  (Apparently my helmet name sticker is not really working because the letters are too big and when directly behind me people can only see "ACHE", which is how their eyes and minds must feel after watching me skate!)

At a recent work conference they had us make a pie chart detailing our Work/Life Balance.  I really need to sit down and do a Derby/Life Balance chart so that I can deal with all these changes!  Otherwise, I'm going to have to go pick up a busload of those Take 5 dinners!

Saturday, September 19, 2009


I keep getting asked about tattoos.  If I have any, when I'm getting them, etc.  I have to end this line of questioning here and now.  Though I have managed to get my toe just inside the derby door, my body is unadorned, uninked, and artless, and it shall remain so.  It's not that I have anything against tattoos.  I'm just trying to think about my future.  I mean, what if someday I happen to be on the NOC list?  Would it be a good idea to have an entry in the Identifying Marks section?  I need to keep my body as anonymous as possible.  I am, afterall, still waiting for the CIA to come recruit me as soon as they realize that I am the next Sydney Bristow:

Friday, September 18, 2009

I'm gonna wash that stench right outta my pads...

I've played my share of smelly sports.  I remember soccer cleats that never quite dried out after game upon game in torrential downpours.  Or what about the four years I spent drenched in scum from the Erie Barge Canal?  We definitely must have had some kind of funk emanating from us, which was probably why no one other than crew team members sat together after morning rows.  But these derby pads seem to have taken on a life of their own...they may even have giant microbial mold growing in them.

At my first few practices with SCDG, I remember taking whiffs of my shiny, new Pro-Tec pads --  Ahhhh!  Fresh from the packaging!  And then I would happen to be next to a seasoned player during drills and my nostrils would flare a bit at the derby girl reek.  But now, after a month and a half of sweating profusely into my pads and occasionally forgetting to air out my gear bag, I am blending right in.

I can't quite describe the smell.  It's part stale sweat, part bottom of the laundry pile, and part three-day-old wet towel sealed in a Ziploc.  I have really tried to be good about at least opening the bag after practice, and I always regret not doing so when slipping on cold wet elbow pads and wrist guards.  In fact, the wrist guards seem to be the worst olfactory offenders.  My hands stink for hours after wearing them, even after frantic scrubbing sessions a la Lady MacBeth.

So I decided to do something about my stench and soaked the pads in a half-water/half-white vinegar solution as per the suggestion at this post.  After a night of soaking, they are now hanging in the sun to bake all day.  Hopefully this will get out some of the stink and hopefully I won't smell too douchey at the next practice.

And for those of you who remember #1 from my Derby Wish List, please rest assured that I have purchased a very strong Dove deodorant and my own personal underarm odor problem seems to have been fixed.  If only I had known about this product made especially for girls on skates:

Wednesday, September 16, 2009

Beyond Co-Dependency

One of the great things about joining a derby league is all the cool women you meet. You find yourselves working on committees together, shopping for 'Boutfits', cheering for each other through each grueling practice. Sweet, right? Well now imagine this: this girl may take major falls and sustain serious injury because of something you did. Yes, that's right. Derby is a place where you wind up hurting your friends. Now there are the normal dings and dents that happen because of a well-placed block and then there are accidents. These are the ones that kill me. As I lumber along learning to be a cleaner, better skater there is inevitable fallout along the way. There are the times my skate gets 'locked' with another girl on the track, there are the times I fail to "fall small" and poke somebody in the eye, and there are the times that I try to receive a whip from somebody in the pace line and manage to drag them to the floor. YOW!! These are the moments that break my heart. We keep getting reminded that "There's No Sorry in Derby." We're supposed to roll right by anyone who has fallen, don't apologize, don't help anyone up and keep playing. We're supposed to let it go and not let these things compromise our game. I know it's not useful to to feel this bad about hurting my new girl-friends... still there's this gut-wrenching guilt and sheepish tail between the legs shame and knowing my lack of finesse has caused another's bruises and bumps-- it causes me anguish that I can practically feel in my chest when I've done something sloppy or unskilled that results in one of my derby sisters lying on the floor. So, since I'm not supposed to say it at practice I'll say it now:

Tuesday, September 15, 2009

Rump Roast

One thing that we worked on last night was positional blocking -- skating in front of an opposing skater to impede her movements.  My group was made up of me, Pixie Painful, and FM Kat.  I had to skate in front of the opposing skater and I needed to get my butt right in her way to slow her down, but still needed to be able to move my feet quickly enough to continue to block if she tried to get around me.  Pixie kept telling me to sit on her, which I was sort of taking figuratively, but to demonstrate what she wanted me to do, she skated up behind me, grabbed my hips and pulled me right up against her.  I let out an involuntary whoop of surprise.  So that's what she meant!

Okay, well I can work on that.  It's not like I have a problem getting all wedged in with people -- I did spend five years riding the NYC subway system during rush hour and, as a result, I have definitely experienced my share of getting squished against others.  (Though please accept my apologies for being all sweaty on everyone with whom I'm paired up in drills!)

Besides, I like these drills where I get to use my butt.  I keep wanting to give my bottom a pep talk and imagine it would go something like this:  "Hey! Bubble Butt!  You got some natural talent down there -- you were made for booty blocking, babe!  I'm sorry about all the years I yelled at you for being too big and sticking out too far!  But now, this is your chance to shine and to be proud of being overdeveloped!  We still have some work to do, but I know you can do it, Big Girl!"

Next week, tune in for a pep talk for my thunder thighs...or should I call them Wonder Thighs to make them feel better?

Sunday, September 13, 2009

I think I can...I think I can...

I'm finally beginning to feel like maybe, just maybe, I'm going to successfully get through this Fresh Meat period.  In August, when we first started, I really struggled at almost every practice.  It felt like the only thing I could do was a plow stop.  Everything else seemed to cause me great anguish.  I would go home and cry after almost every Monday night practice.  I'd feel okay about the Fresh Meat only practices after Tuesday nights, but as the week progressed and we got closer to Monday, little nervous worms of dread would start to eat away at my stomach.  I started to think that they were really trying to weed me out--not because I couldn't fulfill the attendance policy, but because I just could not skate.

It's been a month and a half now and I've finally stopped being Queen Sticky Wheels (all eight wheels on the ground).  My crossovers may be sloppy and I still have trouble pushing with my left leg in mid-crossover, but I'm doing them.  I no longer constantly hear "Pick up your feet!" and "Do your crossovers!" from the sidelines.  And I think what really helped this last week at Tuesday's practice, and which gave me a little boost of confidence, was when the coaches timed our twenty laps around the track.

The Women's Flat Track Derby Association (WFTDA) has a minimum skills requirements list (pdf) and in that it indicates that skaters must be able to do twenty-five laps in under five minutes.  So the coaches did a mini-assessment of us.  They split the Fresh Meat in half and the first group of girls did their twenty laps.  I was in the next group and didn't have anyone to count laps for me, so our coach, Charlie Red Stick, volunteered for the job.

After the clock started, I struggled a little bit to get rolling, but somehow managed to do so.  If there is one thing I have learned from running and rowing long distances, it is not to waste all my energy in the beginning.  It felt like everyone around me burst into a sprint, but I decided to keep it at a steady, medium pace, and I fell in somewhere behind them.  Throughout the twenty laps, Charlie stayed right with me.  She skated out of bounds in the center ring and gave me lap updates.  She reminded me to constantly watch out for other skaters and when I faltered in my steps, she would shout encouragements.  I finished the twenty laps in just under 3:40.  I would not have been able to do that a month ago and am still so relieved that I was able to not only finish, but to finish in under five minutes.  Afterwards, Charlie came up to me and gave me a hug and later told me she was proud of me.  Awwwww!  Cockles warmed!

So, two skills down (laps and plows), thirty or so to go!  Turn stops are still beyond my grasp.  Every time we do knee dips, I really think I won't be able to get back up again...cursed creaky joints!  And what is this about hopping over a three inch object?? [insert increased heart rate and hyperventilating] Okay, wait. One thing at a time, right?  I can do this.  I'm trying to think positive -- I really want to be...

Friday, September 11, 2009

Time for Timer

Fresh Meat Girls just love to be helpful!
Went and demonstrated my go-to-it-iveness at practice on Monday night by timing scrimmages with the stop-watch function on FM Nathalie's Iphone (or was it a blackberry?) and somehow that must have prompted Head Ref Bronco to ask me to time the actual jams of the SCDG vs Tuscon game tomorrow night!! Yikes! Practiced with my very own newly purchased stop-watch and regulation Fox-40 Whistle at last night's practice and I guess I'm as ready as I'll ever be. No time like the present!

Hoping I'll be as chill as these guys pictured here...

They tell me that the only thing I need to worry about is getting the heck out of the way i.e. backing up super-duper fast in my platform boots, so that I don't get run over by Hue Refner.

I think I'll be too busy focusing on TIME to notice the bout, so please, help me out and let me know how it went. Going to go make some 2-minute eggs now to practice my skills.

Thursday, September 10, 2009

The Basics

Millie Fierce included the following video with her recent blog post at Skate Like a Girl.  It is a video on the basics of flat track derby brought to us by the Hammer City Roller Girls of Hamilton, Ontario, Canada.  This is something I really should have watched prior to my first bout.  I remember settling into my seat and watching the first jam, then the second and the third, all the while my brow is becoming more and more furrowed due to all the time spent wondering how those points were getting scored and what was going on in general.  At one point, I leaned over to my boyfriend, and said "Where's the ball?"  A silly thing to say, when I consider it now, but I was just so confused at the time.  (And, of course, there is NO ball in roller derby!)  We finally figured out the scoring system and the whole experience of watching and enjoying the bout became that much better.  At the two most recent bouts, SCDG and the opposing team got out on the track with the refs and prior to the first whistle, they ran through a mock jam for the audience, explaining all the penalties, ref hand signals, player positions, etc.  I love these mock jams and I'm sure they were super helpful to first time bout-goers.  Anyway, without further ado...

Wednesday, September 9, 2009

Do I Really Want to Hurt Me?

Sooner or later it happens to the best of us...
Call them what you will, Boo-boos, Owies, Rink Rashes--what have you. Injuries are part and parcel of the derby life.

(For this and other lovely injury photos see: Rat City Rollergirls Hall of Pain.)

SCDG Injury Status Check:
FM Rachel: plum-sized booty bruise (and btw, honey, thanks for showing me, it's adorable!)
FM Nikki: shoulder pain galore last night after a taking a spill.
Barbarian Librarian: Hurt knee from skating like a banshee (and falling) at tryouts on Monday.
Roxy Scarmichael: Daily butt bruise update: which elder statesman or rock star does her salad-plate-sized bruise (gleaned from the CA State Fair 'assphalt') look like today?

And that's just in the past week! Yikes!

Now I'm not a big faller. (Oh great, here I go jinxing myself, right?) In fact, I don't have to go past my two hands in counting the number of times I've fallen since I started this whole derby insanity. But as Coach Charlie Redstick was explaining last night, this is not necessarily a good thing... Some of us don't fall because... well... um... because we are scared to.

Unfortunately, we 'fraidy cats with our fear of falling are more likely to do things that are not in our best interest, and thereby hurt ourselves in order to AVOID a fall. In fact, Charlie says back at that fatefull practice where she tried to catch herself instead of just falling she should have embraced biting it and thereby would have avoided dislocating her shoulder.

I don't like getting hurt. My knee has been complaining to me for the past couple weeks and that's scary enough. (Apparently players of 'a certain age'--mine-- can expect constant aches and pains. Oh yay.)
But even more so, I don't like being out of control and therefore I do not fall.

While learning rock climbing I was supposed to practice 'falling on purpose' (don't worry, this is while you're geared up with harnesses and ropes and such) and I HATED the VERY IDEA!! Fall on purpose? Right, next I'll be sure to cut off a cop on the freeway and willingly slam my hand in a door! But, as Coach Charlie was saying last night "Good jammers are good fallers." I'm afraid that to become a good player I'll have to get to know the hardwood on a more personal level (isn't picking up my mouth guard off of it and putting it back in my mouth intimacy enough?). This is probably where I'm going to be (another Charlie quote) 'pushing my comfort zone'--something we Freshies should be doing as our skills improve. Somebody, sing Weird Al's "Eat it" with me and let me revel in the ensuing bruised flesh and bruised dignity!!

For now, I'll try to reassure myself with the words I used to 'drop the derby bomb' on my mom: "Don't worry, this is a much safer hobby than motorcycling!" Yeah, but for a while could I wear my leather chaps on the track?

Tuesday, September 8, 2009

Skewered by Skate

I'm having a bit of trouble sitting on my right butt cheek this morning.  Last night, I was paired with Hell Louise (Weezie, for short), FM Jacklyn and FM September for a drill on using your body to wiggle between two blockers to make a hole for your jammer to go through.  Weezie was awesome!  She didn't rush us into doing this at a pace beyond our comfort level and she gave constant, encouraging feedback.  I liked this drill a lot, but I kept locking skates with everyone and took major tumbles to the ground.  On one of these tumbles, my butt cheek landed really hard right on my skate wheel, which is what has caused me some discomfort this morning.  No bruise yet, which is something for which to be thankful -- Roxy Scarmichael's current butt bruise is quite terrifying!  I'm also grateful that I did not land with the skate wheel wedged in my ass crack.  That unpleasant experience has happened to me before and is something that I would really like to avoid in the future.

Otherwise, I thought I had a decent practice.  I was paired up with LuLu Lockjaw in the double pace line.  I was on the outside line, so I had to work extra hard just trying to keep as even with her as possible in the pace line.  This drill encouraged teamwork and when it came time to weave through the pace line, she was really good about not letting me fall too far behind and she kept her hand behind her in case I needed to grab onto it.  When we finally broke through the line, we had to sprint around the track to the front of the pace line.   LuLu let me sprint in front of her, which, as the faster skater, was a good idea because she could then set her pace to mine instead of me trying to keep up with her.  She was really positive and motivating throughout that drill and the next, when I was behind her in the single pace line.

I sat out toward the end of the night, because there were team tryouts for those girls who are eligible to play in bouts.  I don't know how many spots were available on the team, but the way these women skated makes me think that there was only one spot.  They fought so hard and looked amazing!  Great job, ladies!  

Thursday, September 3, 2009

SCDG vs. Tucson...Be there!

Santa Cruz Derby Girls,SCDG,Tuscon Roller Derby
Get your tickets here.
And it is superhero-themed!

Boil N. BiteMe

I went to the dentist yesterday for my routine six month cleaning and I brought along my mouthguard so that the dentist could check it.  The hygienist was really nice and even offered to clean it for me.  When the dentist came in, he put the mouthguard in to make sure that it was properly fitted. He said that I had done a really good job during the boil and bite process and he usually doesn't see them that well fitted.  Yay!  But I can't take all the credit for being a good first time boil-n-biter, because I was talked through it by my boyfriend who used to play high school football.  He said that in order to make it fit properly, I really needed to suck out all the water and then bite down really hard.  I guess during his first season he had not done it properly and the mouthguard would fill up with drool all the time.  Yuck!

So the dentist was impressed with my boil-n-bite technique, but wanted to see the mouthguard protrude a little less in the front and to perhaps go up a little bit more over my front gums.  So we then talked about a custom mouthguard.  I would have to take a few impressions, which would then be sent to Irvine for mouthguard construction.  So this seems like a great idea, right?  I figured that it's probably only $100 or $150 at most, but when I asked the receptionist she said it was more like $375.  $375?!?  Looks like the $1.99 well-fitted boil-n-bite mouthguard is what I'll be sticking with for the time being, because my insurance only covers mouthguards if I am a grinder.  Bummer.

They were also really nice and tried to find a mouthguard case, but I guess they were out of them and new ones would not be in until later in the week.  That's okay, though, because I still really like the one I am using.  I bought this little tin can case about ten years ago in Japan and think it's pretty awesome and the perfect size for my mouthguard:
And in case you can't see the inscription, it reads, and I quote:  "To get out.  Indie every girl there's a stripper long get out. One night to hevenly.  Fantastic Fake Stars."

Wednesday, September 2, 2009


Move the hell over, 
I've got patrons to serve!

I've been getting a lot of support from my co-workers about my new obsession and many of them sent me this CNN story that was in the headlines recently.

Stereotype-smashin' derby librarian, "MegaBeth," a reference librarian in Akron Ohio, is 53 year old player for the Rubber City Roller Girls.

This article is bringing up an age-old battle for us librarians... Having to prove that librarians are actually cool. Well guess what folks. We are!

MegaBeth isn't the only librarian rolling around and taking names, let’s see more of these brawlin' biblio babes!

Judy Gloom plays for the LA Derby Dolls
Take a look at her blog, Hollywood Librarian.

Kiwi Derby Librarian, Bonne Fire from the Pirate City Rollers of Aukland, New Zealand!
See her wonderful video on the reference interview here at her blog, Derby Librarian.

Dame Deviant, a Young Adult librarian, plays for the Bend, Oregon Lava City Roller Dolls and likes to do library-supportive booty blocking!

And in Santa Cruz, we're lucky: Our league has the privilege of having 2 librarians (both in public libraries) and one retired player in library school!
Here's our very own Barbarian Librarian
Soon-to-be formerly known as Fresh Meat Kim.
She is a public library reference librarian and derby a** kicker.

*Side note* Yes folks, we have to earn our names. We spend 3 months as Fresh Meat, then need to pass our scrimmage assessment to be eligible to 'crossover' to the other side. Meanwhile, our chosen derby name gets sent to the name goddesses who have 2-3 months worth of names to get through. You better hope that your name gets approved, because if not it's back to the drawing board.

And then there's me... 
SCDG FM Profile Preview of Fresh Meat Daisy:
My Other Set of Wheels is a Book Cart
Why derby? 
They wouldn’t let me knock people down in salsa dancing.
Theme song:
I Was Born Making Noise- Suzi Quatro

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Tuesday, September 1, 2009

Changing winds?

I felt a billion times better at practice last night.  There was NO crying and I felt generally more positive about the drills and exercises that we did.  I admit that there was some trepidation about thirty minutes before I left for practice and I did find myself on the potty trying to figure out if my stomach felt funny because of digestive issues or nerves.  (Nerves.)  But I think the major change about last night was that I had practiced picking my feet up while skating.  I was ready for the thirty minutes of pre-stretching, warm-up skating that they make us do each week.  My master plan to be better at those thirty minutes was foiled (of course) by the fact that the coach made us skate clockwise!  Ugh! I had not practiced my clockwise skating this past week and I blame that on the Palladium.  Usually at Open Skate they play maybe one or two songs where we have to skate in the reverse direction, but at my last two Open Skates they did the limbo and the hokey pokey as their special skates!  Grrrrrrrr.

Next up:  Suicides.  Call me crazy, but I have always liked these and was first introduced to them at high school soccer practices many, many years ago.  I was a little bit excited to see how I would do at these after figuring out the lifting of the feet thing, but I got a bit nervous because there were a few too many people in my line and that made it difficult to navigate stopping and turning around.  I'm pretty sure I was last in all of the suicide drills, but it didn't bother me like it usually does.  Plus, between some of the drills we had to do that throw down abdominal exercise -- the one where a partner stands at your head, you lift your feet above your head, and she then throws your feet to the floor, but you can't let them hit the floor.  I love these!  I'm kind of good at them, because underneath my layer of stomach blubber I have insanely strong abs.  Plus, I think it's all about how you breathe during these ab exercises.

For the rest of the practice we worked on hitting drills.  Hitting!  Already?  But it has only been a month!  Okay, well I suppose we have to start that sometime.  We first did some drills with cones to figure out the foot and body movements and then we were partnered up.  Pixie Painful was my partner and she was really positive, encouraging, and gave me lots of pointers.  The worst part was figuring out how not to be crushed by her powerful hits.  She just said to get low in derby position.  I think that helped my butt stay off the ground.   We then did the drill in the pace line.  Yikes!  I made it through, though I veered off course a few times.  I also got knocked out of the pace line a few times by some super power blocks.  Crazy.

We ended the night with an optional Queen of the Rink, whereby you skate around, hit or be hit, and the last one left standing is the Queen.  I looked at FM Daisy who decided to stay in and, well, since she was my ride, I stuck around too.  I wasn't in for long before Pixie knocked me out of bounds, but before that happened there was one moment where someone came for me from the left, but I went right and behind her and avoided the hit. Yay!

So that was it.  I came home, soaked my feet, guzzled down some kiwi-strawberry flavored electrolyte juice, and went to bed.  I woke up a bit sore, but I'm actually looking forward to practice tonight.  That is a nice feeling.