One thing that we worked on last night was positional blocking -- skating in front of an opposing skater to impede her movements. My group was made up of me, Pixie Painful, and FM Kat. I had to skate in front of the opposing skater and I needed to get my butt right in her way to slow her down, but still needed to be able to move my feet quickly enough to continue to block if she tried to get around me. Pixie kept telling me to sit on her, which I was sort of taking figuratively, but to demonstrate what she wanted me to do, she skated up behind me, grabbed my hips and pulled me right up against her. I let out an involuntary whoop of surprise. So that's what she meant!
Okay, well I can work on that. It's not like I have a problem getting all wedged in with people -- I did spend five years riding the NYC subway system during rush hour and, as a result, I have definitely experienced my share of getting squished against others. (Though please accept my apologies for being all sweaty on everyone with whom I'm paired up in drills!)
Besides, I like these drills where I get to use my butt. I keep wanting to give my bottom a pep talk and imagine it would go something like this: "Hey! Bubble Butt! You got some natural talent down there -- you were made for booty blocking, babe! I'm sorry about all the years I yelled at you for being too big and sticking out too far! But now, this is your chance to shine and to be proud of being overdeveloped! We still have some work to do, but I know you can do it, Big Girl!"
Next week, tune in for a pep talk for my thunder thighs...or should I call them Wonder Thighs to make them feel better?
Okay, well I can work on that. It's not like I have a problem getting all wedged in with people -- I did spend five years riding the NYC subway system during rush hour and, as a result, I have definitely experienced my share of getting squished against others. (Though please accept my apologies for being all sweaty on everyone with whom I'm paired up in drills!)
Besides, I like these drills where I get to use my butt. I keep wanting to give my bottom a pep talk and imagine it would go something like this: "Hey! Bubble Butt! You got some natural talent down there -- you were made for booty blocking, babe! I'm sorry about all the years I yelled at you for being too big and sticking out too far! But now, this is your chance to shine and to be proud of being overdeveloped! We still have some work to do, but I know you can do it, Big Girl!"
Next week, tune in for a pep talk for my thunder thighs...or should I call them Wonder Thighs to make them feel better?
7 comments:
thanks for your blog, FM Rachel! as a wanna be derby girl (I missed tryouts this year, but I'm skating up a storm) I appreciate getting all the unsavory details of being fresh meat!
Hi Anon! Thanks for reading!! If you are in Santa Cruz, I think we have tryouts again in October, but I'm not sure of the exact date. Will update the blog with that information once it is finalized.
I really love your blog. It's amusing and totally honest!
Our next trout is Oct 27. Our website will be updated with info soon.
Rachel gave me verbal permission to swoop in and take credit for the term, "wonder thighs," since she didn't give it to me publicly. I coined it in an attempt to comfort an ex-girlfriend who was traumatized by a school yard episode in which she was taunted as "Thunder Thighs." I thought I was providing her with the perfect wordplay-based judo to turn that put-down around, but it just made her cry harder. I guess that's why Rachel's my girlfriend now instead of that other lady, though it might also be because she dumped me. It's a toss-up, really.
He speaks! His Fresh Meat blog silence has been broken! Thank you, Brian, for coining the phrase. It is adorable! What you have neglected to share with our audience is that the aforementioned ex-girlfriend later went on to become an All-Star Pivot/Blocker for a team in the Mid-West. Both the girl and the team shall remain unnamed!
I can't believe I missed that booty skills action...I'm still pretty committed to stuffed sausages as a term for my legs :o) Your blog is the best!
The girl and team shall indeed remain unnamed, but in the unlikely event that this mystery team and Santa Cruz should ever collide, both team and girl would be quickly identified by the squeal of delight that would break my otherwise placid facade should this anonymous wench get her ass introduced to a floorboard as harsh and unforgiving as she was to your humble commenter.
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